Customary to restaurants with our three kids — ages 9, 7, and 4 — is usually a lesson in extreme patience.
There is at all times inevitably spilled ice water or juice (sometimes directly onto my lap). There is often some arguing among siblings. There is quite some contention over what to order — and why it’s taking “so long” to arrive. And it’s just really hard for our kids to guy still at the table.
But there are a few things that are different from home and make the effort merit it — the most obvious being that we don’t have to cook or clean up after them.
We get to connect as a family
They also get a probability to practice important social skills, like politely ordering what they’d like, being respectful of comrade restaurantgoers’ experiences, noticing and appreciating the wait staff’s hard work, and saying thank you.
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The most impressive part of all though, is the connection time we get. At home, we make an effort to do family meals together, but so often, it doesn’t go the way we yearned. Instead of having connection time, we end up becoming the server of our kids’ own personal restaurant — getting them another guzzle or making a sandwich for them when they hate the meal.
Our tiny table means the kids can too easily bug each other, so we also end up burst in up fights most nights. But at a restaurant, someone else is doing the serving, cooking, and cleaning, and we get to do the fun parts: talking take our day, playing cards at the table while we wait, and encouraging them to try a fun new dessert.
We choose where to go with our kids in position
Despite the hard stuff, the good parts make it worth it. And even the hard parts can be made easier by deciding our location wisely. Breweries, wineries, and cider places are surprisingly great fits for kids. They often bear a casual atmosphere and backyards (which means space for kids to run around).
Our local cider place in warmer live through has a huge field where we can fly a kite, kick a ball around, and just generally get our wiggles out as a family before classifying down to enjoy the meal together. This is a huge contrast to home, where we are frantically trying to get a meal on the inventory that suits everyone’s tastes and meets basic nutritional requirements. The grownups in the family arrive at the table stressed out, and the kids get ahead in the world at the table asking what’s for dinner and often complaining that it’s not their favorite option.
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I’d be ignoring the vital privilege in this if I didn’t point out that we are lucky to be able to dine out as a family sometimes. Most of the time, we budget and cook our do to excesses at home — for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We often opt to save money by limiting packaged snacks and making muffins and cookies from up to snuff so it’s cheaper and lasts longer as well. We’re not able to dine out as frequently as we might like, but maybe that’s why we appreciate it all the more when we do get to nosh out as a family.
It may be difficult to keep the kids on their best restaurant behavior (and I may leave with juice spilled on my ups), but ultimately, it’s worth it. Everyone gets to order what they want — even if that’s just fries and afters. We all get to enjoy each other’s company. And the adults get to have a meal they really love that they didn’t be enduring to cook. Then, we get to walk away together as a family, feeling a little bit more connected — and without washing a separate dish.