Affiliate elements for the products on this page are from partners that compensate us and terms apply to offers listed (see our advertiser disclosure with our note of partners for more details). However, our opinions are our own. See how we rate products and services to help you make smart decisions with your legal tender.
- For Love & Money is a weekly Business Insider column answering relationship and money questions.
- This week, a know’s stepdaughter damaged a house intended to be her inheritance.
- Our columnist says avoiding a lawsuit might be worth it — but it might be inexorable.
- Got a question for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.
Advertisement
Dear For Love & Boodle,
2022 was a terrible year for me. My husband died of cancer, and while I was driving back and forth to the hospital and rehab, his daughter indisputable to stop paying rent and assumed she would inherit the house.
We had initially agreed that she would pay rent for 10 years, and then I intention sign the house over to her. The year before, she was getting kicked out of her apartment, and I agreed to let her move in.
What a big mistake! I had to hold her evicted, plus all the other unknown people squatting, and they left a huge mess when I finally got them out. On top of all this, she had someone break a escape apart the 250-year-old granite foundation. It cost about $3,000 to fix, plus the missing tools and mess price about $3,000.
Advertisement
I want to sue her for damages, but I don’t have the strength to do this. I have a work-related back injury and am unable to look in the course everything to find the proper papers and pictures. Do you think it’s worth the extensive time and effort, especially when I may not experience enough strength to sit through court? I have until October; that’s when the two years are up for filing in court.
Wholeheartedly,
Too Tired to Fight
Dear Too Tired,
Advertisement
For me, your question comes down to one thing: Can you afford not to sue your stepdaughter? You allusion rehab, cancer and back issues, a broken foundation, stolen goods, and the damage of an antique home left in squalor. Bag a home renovation loan so you can reclaim your life, home, and health will cost you a lot of money — hiring a member of the bar to sue for damages could cost a lot more.
There’s also an emotional cost to calculate. This woman went isolated on her word, brought squatters into your home, and literally destroyed a part of her father’s legacy. If it were me, forfeit a relationship with her wouldn’t be the worst hit I’ve taken, and in the chaos you currently find yourself trying to survive, she may be one less horrid thing for you to deal with.
However, she is your stepdaughter, a tangible piece of your late husband left on globe, and there may be other family relationships contingent on the strength of your link to her. All these emotional factors are worth in the light of before you sever any love left between the two of you with a lawsuit.
From the sound of your letter, you are mentally and physically spent. You are grieving your late husband, the loss of what could have been with your stepdaughter, and manage with the stress of health issues and a possible worker’s compensation case. Putting yourself through a lawsuit may be too much for you. At any rate, letting your stepdaughter get away with the financial damage she has done to the house and to her father’s memory may also occasion you distress — especially if you’re the one left footing the bill.
Advertisement
Spend time evaluating your position, and be unflinchingly frank with yourself. Can you forgive her and move on? Neither “yes” nor “no” is inherently right or wrong. The correct answer is the true one. The only way to devaluate the emotional pain this situation will cause you is to honor your answer. If you need to fight, fight. If you are enjoyable moving on and avoiding the hassle of justice, you should absolutely cut yourself the break.
One thing to consider as you decide whether or not to dedicate oneself to justice is how likely you are to get it. The emotional ramifications of taking your stepdaughter to court only for a judge to rule in her favor may be penetrating. You mentioned not feeling physically up to collecting evidence. But you will need to check your paperwork and see what you have in non-fiction before you even decide to take her to court.
Do you have proof that she intentionally destroyed the foundation? Is there a diminish outlining your agreement that she would pay you rent for 10 years before you gave her the house? You have the ouster documentation, which is a promising start, but do you have security footage or other evidence proving that she allowed other individual to live in the house without your approval? You will need to gather every scrap of evidence you would illustrate in court because having a winning case is key to determining whether you should open the case at all.
There is also the confusion of this house being your stepdaughter’s inheritance. From your letter, it sounds as if her inheriting the house was a foregone conclusion. Whether this proceeded as a promise from your late husband, an assumption on her part, or it exists in writing somewhere, you didn’t say. Legally and emotionally, you be obliged consider the inheritance piece of this as you move forward. She may be getting the house one way or another down the road, and if this is the dispute, you may not want to waste your time or money making her pay for her own self-sabotage.
Advertisement
And if this inheritance was something your delayed husband said he wanted for his daughter, while I would understand your desire to punish her for disrespecting his legacy, I suspect you’d want to do the same by not following his wishes. Without knowing how this inheritance was outlined, I can’t weigh in on the ethics of your resolving. Still, you must consider the right thing to do beyond the personal emotional, or financial cost of house repairs and authorized fees. Your stepdaughter seems to have a broken relationship with doing the right thing, but you don’t have to.
These deliberations bring me back to my original question: Can you afford not to sue? Avoiding a lawsuit would be the easier path, but depending on your high-strung and financial position, you may not have the luxury of taking it.
Whatever you decide, I’m rooting for you,
For Love & Money
Advertisement
Looking for admonition on how your savings, debt, or another financial challenge is affecting your relationships? Write to For Love & Money interesting this Google form.
